Thursday, October 06, 2005

Lets go! Let's GO! LET'S GO!!

TIme for some more random reviews of new Music and Cinema.

Green Day, American Idiot:
Sounds about right.

I actually did have someone wake me up when September ended, but they were still playing Green Day, so I went back to sleep.

Bon Jovi, Have a Nice Day:
I admire their courage in debuting an album with a cover and video that obviously features a very smug looking Kool-Aid Man. I give this one two "Oh, Yeah!'s".

Franz Ferdinand, You could have it so much better:
Yes.

Rolling Stones, A Bigger Bang:
They would know. They were around when the we had the first one.

Disturbed, Ten Thousand Fists:
Ten thousand fists...in my asshole.

A real bumper crap of movies this week; let's look, shall we?

Corpse Bride:
The long awaited feature film depicting the sad fate of Terry Schaivo, in claymation!

Shining moment:
It has a dog in it.

Sucking moment:
The dog is dead.

FlightPlan:
Narrowly avoided taking the name Panic Room 2: Electric Bugaloo.

Shining Moment:
A clever film, with twists and turns that will keep you on the edge of your seat!

Sucking moment:
Leslie Neilsen doesn't slap her and say "Get ahold of yourself!".

The Greatest Game Ever Played:
Betcha can't guess which one.

Shining Moment:
Someone shanks a birdie.

Sucking Moment:
"Shanking a birdie" is not quite as dirty as it seems.

A History of Violence:
History is boring.

Shining Moment:
Filmed in Canada!

Sucking Moment:
Filmed in Canada...

Into The Blue:
An extended version of Wrecks-n-Effect's famous video, RumpShaker.

Shining Moment:
"All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-boom-boom".

Sucking Moment:
Not technically pornography.

Just Like Heaven:
Just like heaving.

Shining Moment:
The riotous laghter I enjoyed.

Sucking Moment:
The moments after my riotous laughter; Just after my girlfriend asked me to go see Just Like Heaven.

Lord of War:
Bored of War.

Shining Moment:
Coming up with that great joke.

Sucking Moment:
The fact that it took me a half an hour to rhyme "lord" with "bored". Sigh.

Me and You and Everyone We Know:
Judging from the title, I assume it is very long.

Shining Moment:
I'm in it.

Sucking Moment:
You're in it.

Red-eye:
Joins Sky High as the two best names for stoner films to come out this year.

Shining Moment:
Guest appearances by both Snoop AND Ice Cube.

Sucking Moment:
Is actually Soul Plane 2.

Serenity:
Wing Commander 2, in movies. Wing Commander 4, in games. Either way, you're fucked.

Shining Moment:
Recaps and concludes the first act of the failed Firefly series.

Sucking Moment:
Recaps and conludes the first act of the failed Firefly series.

War of the Worlds:
Bore of the Worlds (Seriously, how do I come up with this stuff?!).

Shining Moment:
The chemistry between Tom Cruise and his talented youg co-star, Dakota Fanning.

Sucking Moment:
Realizing that he'll be dating her in 8 years.

Wedding Crashers:
Not as good as Dodgeball, and that's saying something.

Shining Moment:
Will Farrell has never made an unfunny guest appearance yet.

Sucking Moment:
Until now.

Stay tuned for the next post, either tomorrow or a month from now!

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