Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The Path of the Righteous Man is Beset on all sides by the Inequities of the Selfish and the Stink of Dead Skunks.

Way before God created Jesus, and Jesus created the wheel, mankind had to use their legs like a sucker. This led to sore legs and a Jesus who was too tired to run away from those guys that killed him. Thus, Christians invented cars, looked back upon their work, and said, "That's totally Jesus" (An archaic slang for good).

Then last weekend came the fruition of two millenia of struggle, our entry into the promised land*.

Despite several unfortunate setbacks (Pee break #1, Pee break #2, and , wait for it..., Pee Break #3), we made it to the cottage in record time**. A great time was had by all, and I may have broken my own personal record of most beer drank while at the cottage, sitting in the sun, and reading Watchmen***.

The weekend was full of so many great moments it is hard to recount them all in such a short space, so I'll start a new sentence. Who can forget Brian taking forever to read a book, Sean sleeping on the couch, Kyle watching television, Brett getting poo on his sneakers, or Poul doing his hilarious rendition of history's saddest little hobo, Red Skelton, for two whole days!! Awesome.

I hope to see everyone at the next cottage party, if only to see how large Brian's belly has gotten in the duration and to see if it has sprouted a little man, ala Quarto from Total Recall****. So in conclusion, don't touch my stuff*****.


**The record of being closest to exactly how long it took us to get there (without going over).

***I forget, I was drunk.

****Remember that guy? He asked Arnold to open up his mind to him? He was all sweaty and had little pits of hair on him? Waved around these tiny little arms? Looked like Brett? Nothing? Wait...Have you even watched Total Recall? Cause you should.

***** Oooh! 5 Stars!


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