Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Woman, I'll stab who I want to stab!

So I'm playing Grand Theft Auto, right? And I'm stabbing all my homies in the neck.

It's so awesome. The smooth animation of creeping silently up behind them, inserting the blade into the side of their neck, and deftly twisting the blade in order to guarantee the maximum amount of viscera. That level of sadism wasn't necessary, but it was appreciated.

I'd walk up all cool-like and they were all like, "Yo, what up, G?"

Then I was all like, STAB, STAB, LAUGH, STAB.

My girlfriend would glance over every so often from her Spider Solitaire to look at me with disgust.

This went on for an hour.

I didn't bother trying to do any missions; I was just here for the stabbing.

Eventually, an ambulance came when I started just slashing around willy-nilly into crowds, sending wounded prostitutes staggering into the street.

The ambulance driver left the ambulance and approached an injured man on the ground. Erin turned to look at me.

She asked in her sweetest, most innocent, almost trembling, voice "Can you kill that guy?"

I nodded, busily stabbing ho's.

She paused and looked directly at the screen, her voice becoming flat and cruel.

"Kill him then...with your bare hands."

Man, my girlfriend so crazy.


Blogger Frank said...

That was great. I could almost picture Mr. Grant yelling at you to kill some more..... Ya Bitches

1:46 PM  

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